We get so caught up in our daily lives, that sometimes we don’t realize how far away we have come from those dreams and aspirations that felt so real and realizable once upon a time… all those dreams that we had abandoned for what felt like the right thing to do at that stage of our lives. Though it is especially true of women, it is the story of everyone’s life. To choose the path of ease, make peace with the situation, and continue forward… like it’s so hardwired into the brains. But a few revolutionary, in the middle of chaos, run away attempting to seek and make a path for themselves.
Don't ever doubt yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. All you have to do is believe in YOU! – Jenny Charbonneau
Now, to you and I, it may seem as if that person is running away from a situation, because that’s exactly how it looks to us, but in truth, they are running-to to something else. Something different. Often, they just don’t know it yet. However, this is the point where the change begins for them!
Quite simply, they can’t take counsel from the family – because advice given with the right intentions spells control and is never going to be agreeable; not from friends either – because talking to them may be heart-to-heart and free, but it often has a biased perspective; and definitely not from people who say, “What choice did you have?” – because they are neither friends nor well-wishers! Luckily, over the past decade or so, it’s gotten a lot easier to fight for individual choices without any fear of reprisal compared to the times before when people had a negative view of those seeking emotional help outside.
So, the obvious choice should be to trust in self, and seek professional guidance from a mental health expert, isn’t it? Talk therapy or psychotherapy can be transformative and has worked for many – no matter what the age or whatever the circumstances.
Recently I met my bestie of the college years after a long time. Though we regularly exchange greetings on special and social occasions, we still had some serious catching-up to do. Turns out, Life Coaching is very much her turf!! Surprise! So, it was like, “Talk to me girl! What? When? Why? How?” I’ve always known Farida to be kind, loving, patient and compassionate… which are the precise attributes for being a wonderful life coach, no doubt! Together, on that unpretentious afternoon, over makeup-less faces and party leftovers, we had a long deep conversation about how emotional and social well-being is so important at every stage of human life. There are some things that she said, that I would really like to share with my readers.
It's what you do in the present that will redeem the past and thereby change the future. – Paulo Coelho
Q: I am truly happily surprised to hear that you are a Life Coach. I remember you gave up your career in the travel line to be a stay-at-home mom. Your kids have grown up to be beautiful and caring adults, just like their parents. So, why, when and how? Tell me.
A: Smita, I came to a point in my life where I couldn’t quite process my emotions, and that made me an emotional wreck, blaming and complaining about life, situations and people at large. I felt I had hit rock bottom, so I set out with the intention of putting an end being fed up, and to begin living the best version of myself. I was laser focused on becoming that person, and left no stone unturned to make sure that my intention turned into my reality. Ever since I set out with that intention, I haven't looked back once.
It is the reason why I chose to become a Life Coach myself. And I can say it with pride now: “My Mess has become my Message."
To answer the ‘how’ part of your question, I went right ahead investing in prestigious self-awareness courses by different mentors. You know, even my family was rather stunned to learn that for a first time in my life I had swiped my credit card for a big amount for myself without conferring with them first. I enrolled for Neuro Linguistic Program (NLP) to understand Human Behaviour and Psychology, and got completely absorbed in self-awareness through a variety of self-help books. Most importantly, I immersed myself into spiritual practice of living in Alignment-of-Mind-Body-and-Soul daily, which is the foundation of my program.
Q: We usually continue till as far as it takes us… which is, until whatever choices we are making aren’t working. So, that was brave. It is indeed an extraordinary domain. Has it brought about any change or transformation in you personally?
A: It has turned my life successfully 360 degrees! Thereafter, it has become my mission and passion to help people, especially women struggling with negative emotions to save themselves from becoming emotional wreck that I once was. You know, I have always been a people's person. Being able to sense their emotional pain without having them to reveal too much, it is a gift I possess. That helps me to connect easily and deeply with them. I cannot help but reach out to people, when I know that I can and will help them recognize themselves and turn their life around. Talk therapy has the potential for a life-changing impact, and I assure my clients a transformation.
I believe, I have been able to transform myself and my life. If I could, then anyone can!
Q: Can you tell me about some of the most meaningful goals that your coaching has allowed clients to actualize? Any latent objectives that guided them into introspection and elucidation?
A: This field is so vast. As I typically work with emotionally disconcerted women, there are so many nuances. To effectively bring them out of their negative patterns that they live in and walking them through the blueprint of scientific facts and spirituality are the primary goals. It gives them life changing breakthroughs to help change their outworn belief-systems and also help them come out from a victim-mode to a victor-mindset. Afterall, it is the thoughts that contribute towards making or breaking a person.
People seeking help are naturally less resilient because they live in a world of 'Their Thoughts' believing them to be the gospel truth. Now, that is the difficult bit, because the time gap between them believing what they assume is true for them and how that can be transformed into strength, is something they cannot fathom in the beginning until it becomes their reality. And, optimizing their potential takes a while. But the transformation happens.
Q: True. That way, you know that you were effective in solving the problem. Say, as it expensive?
A: Is it more expensive to continue to lead a life of grief and misery or seek help to live a life of fulfilment and liberation? …is a question they have to ask themselves.
Q: Name a work accomplishment that makes you proud or about a time when you helped a client open up.
A: Delivering life-changing result to every single client is not only their win, but mine too. It is something I find soul satisfying and am definitely proud about. When someone comes to crying in desperation looking for judgement-free discussion and a respite, and when I see the same person smiling in the third session alone, that is very satisfying and it gives me the answer I'm looking for. There are several testimonials on my Instagram where you’ll see how the cognitive therapy has helped my clients in uncovering themselves and the potential paths forward. There is one case I’d like to share with you; in the client’s own words.
“I first approached Farida when I was about 4 months post-partum - did I have Post-Partum Depression / Anxiety - perhaps not or I don’t know! But what I did realize that I had not healed myself (in cruder terms fixed my shit) completely before I became a Mom! No I didn’t have a traumatic pregnancy or birth experience - very far from that - I truly had so much to be grateful for. But the patterns from years emerged over and over - spiral of negative thoughts, anger, outbursts, horrible thoughts, crying, guilt - a hot mess to put it lightly. None of this was new to me - this had been second nature to me for a few years now.I had been to counselors, therapists before - to be clear, I wasn’t in denial - I was acutely aware of my shortcomings, of my ill behavior and my inability to control my thoughts."
"Farida came up with a 12-15 session plan for us. In the spirit of being result-oriented these are some of the clear tangible outcomes of my sessions:I no longer operate primarily from a place of lack - when I find myself going there I am quickly able to find my gratitude. There is a pause between my thoughts and actions - led to less outbursts. I cry a LOT less - for me this is an achievement - I’m not draining my energy with sad and negative thoughts. And, I am not as dependent on others to fulfill my emotional needs / desires - I have taken responsibility for my own feelings.” Farida’s voice itself is extremely reassuring, strengthening and calming - her tonality is perfect, her method of explaining things is immaculate - methodical, thorough yet gentle. What I loved the most was the amazing examples, anecdotes to help remember key principles - this has allowed things to stick with me much more. Her style is to TEACH and not preach! She listens with understanding and has never left a session without making sure I had understood everything in the true sense of the word. I am forever grateful to her.
Sanya (name changed for confidentiality purposes)."
Q: Therapy is an important outlet, and it is wonderful to see you communicate in a way that is comfortable for the client. Do you have a specific daily routine as a life coach?
A: As I work on myself and others on the principle of alignment of mind, body and soul, I need to be a living embodiment of the person I have evolved to be. It has been my practice to rise at 5.30am followed by prayers, after which a 20 min meditation practice to center myself, followed by journaling my gratitudes and finally hitting the gym. This practice ensures that I fulfill the foundational principle of Mind, Body and Soul.
This is my strict morning routine, after which I dedicate myself to the wellbeing of my family which is my first and primary responsibility, to be a nurturer. Additionally, it important for me to bring in harmony between home and work. Post-lunch is when I dive in deep into work and have coaching sessions until 9 pm. So, that’s my daily routine.
Q: Lastly, do you have any message to the youth of today that they could benefit from?
A: Dealing with life skills, processing emotions, understanding oneself & people around you were never taught through schools or colleges, and that is causing havoc in people's professional and personal space.
My message to the youth and people of all age groups is – “If there is any one job which is most important and cannot be neglected, it is working-on-the-mind. Everything we do depends on having a healthy mindset... be it relationship, job, business, finance, friendship, family, health or career.
"It's your quality of thoughts that will decide where you are going.”
Thank you for sharing your experience and the great advice. Folks, wherever you find yourself, if it's not where you want to be, start working for a change of direction. It's never too late. Should you want to approach Life Coach Farida Khan for help, she is available on call or whatsapp +91 982 277 7070. Instagram & FB: lifecoachfaridakhan.
If you like this article, please give it some response! You can either call me or whatsapp me on your views +91 982 230 7712 or email me on email@example.com